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What to do? As a parent that is a common question when it comes to our children. When my son was being bullied at school by another student, my first reaction was to want to go directly to that student and his parents.

I wanted to drive to their home, confront them and demand an immediate stop. But, once i stepped back and realized that my son was not in any physical danger, I considered what was best for him, his self-confidence and his growth. What I figured was the best approach was to empower him, to reassure him and to share with him some tools that would allow him to stop the bullying. Do others think this is the best approach? Are there downsides to taking this approach?

One Comment

  1. Gravatar for Jane Nova

    I agree that the place to start is to empower him, reassure and share tools. The downfall to this is that the bullying tends to continue. With my daughter, I started the same way you did. When the bullying continued to get worse, I contacted the school. When the school didn't help much, I contacted the parents of the bully when I could or continued to advocate for my daughter at school until they took action. The other unfortunate thing is that when one bully stops, another picks up or it becomes a group bullying attack. I ended up having to contact the police to get one boy to stop after he physically assaulted my daughter at the school. He finally stopped, but other kids kept it going. Your job as a parent, in my thoughts, is to teach the empowerment but also keep close tabs on what is going on. Ask, Listen and Advocate! That is my motto. To many kids are afraid to tell adults repeatedly that the bullying is continiuing. This leads to them isolating themselves, putting on that happy face just to avoid the topic, etc. So YES empowerment and tools are definite positives, but stay on top of it, he may be hesitant to come talk to you again unless you have told him "if it continues after you have tried all we have talked about, come talk to me again and we can tackle it together".

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